“wanting something better” – Dr Robert Simon on family violence at the Pacifica Congress Conference series.

“wanting something better” – Dr Robert Simon on family violence at the Pacifica Congress Conference series.

Dr Robert Simon (https://www.dr-simon.com/)

At the Pacifica Congress Conference live in Hobart 2023 www.pacificacongress.org

 

The Inside Family Law Podcast is hosted by Zoe Durand at Mediation Answers www.mediationanswers.com.au in partnership with Lawyer Magic and ArtWork.

 

If you would like to attend the champagne celebration on 1 November 2023 for the Inside Family Law and network with our remarkable guests that we have hosted over the years secure your spot at: https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/736405357247?aff=oddtdtcreator

 

• Film The Fort.
• Coercive controlling violence, intergenerational transmission of this.
• Mother finds her voice and stands up to the father, father kills the mother in the film.
• Perpetrator renders the victim helpless in a number of ways.
• Can included financial, physical and other forms of control.
• Gender symmetry in other forms of violence in families, but not in coercive controlling violence which is mainly male to female.
• Zoe asks: why is it that coercive controlling violence is so gendered?
• Lack of empathy of perpetrators.
• How do you stop this form of violence? On an individual level perpetrator may seek psychotherapy and also want to change.
• Victims can exit the relationship. Noting this is an extremely difficult and vulnerable time for victims as this is when they are in the most danger.
• “perpetrators don’t find court orders to be anything other than suggestions… and they’ll violate them” (even though they are not just suggestions, this is their perception).
• Shelters and supporting escape from the relationship. Location often not disclosed.
• On a societal level we have to make the knowledge of it common… we need to change it from being an ugly secrete that’s swept under the rug to something that everybody knows takes place and is willing to talk about. We need to educate all of us about the signs and signals that somebody is in trouble… and teach people how to do a little bit of outreach…”
• Case by case approach/. One person at a time.
• “At that moment of leaving that victim is at greatest risk.”
• 1 woman a week dies in Australia at the hands of a partner/ ex partner.
• “Battery programs” in the USA. Research suggests these are not that effective.
• Change doesn’t occur “unless a person is sincerely motivated… and sincere motivation is not escaping punishment, sincere motivation is wanting something better.”
• Victims still feel a lot of shame about family violence. We need to take the humiliation sting out of it.