Inside Family Law with Zoë Durand

“Things we can do now” - Judge Alexandra Harland on making positive changes on the ground. AFCC series.

 “Things we can do now” - Judge Alexandra Harland on making positive changes on the ground. AFCC series.

• Why Judge Harland is drawn to the AFCC. The positive efforts of the AFCC and family report writer training.
• Family law as intersecting with many different areas and professions.
• Perspective that change can happen at the coalface with those who work in the area of family law.
• Increasingly better coordination between the different professionals in family law.
• Family Court and Federal Circuit Court and coordination that has already been occurring between the Courts and streamlining court rules and processes.
• Tips and words of support for parents who are separating.
• Children’s difficulty with transition and the damage that even silence, not just negative comments, can do.
• Standardised training for family report writers launched by AFCC.
• History of AFCC and joining the AFCC.

“Focus on the kids and think long term” – Judge Tom Altobelli on the AFCC, the importance of collaboration and insights for parents who are separating. AFCC series.

“Focus on the kids and think long term” – Judge Tom Altobelli on the AFCC, the importance of collaboration and insights for parents who are separating. AFCC series.

• History of Judge Altobelli’s career.
• Judge Altobelli’s views about why he is a member of the AFCC.
• The importance of collaboration between professionals in the family law system.
• Issues particular to Wollongong registry including socio-economic disadvantage of some of the parties.
• Supportive insights for those going through a separation.
• “As unpredictable as the journey might be, keep your focus on what is best for your children. Focus on the kids and think long term”.

“You know, but you don’t know” – Albert Frantz (concert pianist, entrepreneur, social justice advocate, Vienna) on being a donor conceived child and identity as a human right. AFCC series

“You know, but you don’t know” – Albert Frantz (concert pianist, entrepreneur, social justice advocate, Vienna) on being a donor conceived child and identity as a human right. AFCC series.

• Albert’s personal history as a donor conceived child.
• Sperm donation in the 1970’s.
• Identity as a human right – the rights of a child and open sourcing of identity.
• Psychological impact of growing up not knowing one’s biological family: “I fell from the sky”.
• Existential debt – expectation that donor conceived people and also adopted people should be perpetually “grateful”.
• “Here’s a common theme amongst donor conceived people; you know even when you don’t know.”
• “Nobody is actually keeping track, nobody even knows exactly how many donor conceived people are out there and whether they know that they are donor conceived and for that reason it is impossible to conduct proper studies on this.”
• “But there is a lot of anecdotal evidence from adopted and donor conceived people saying that there are significant psychological and emotional issues surrounding identity and who are we and where do we belong in this world.”
• “Still is this feeling of being rootless. And it is probably impossible to describe what that feeling is unless you experience it.”
• “You can be grateful for your life and the parents who raised you and there can still be a gaping hole that you need to fill in because of this fundamental, existential uncertainty that you have about who you are.”
• Bio ethics issues.
• Albert’s personal views about sperm donor conception and surrogacy in different circumstances.
• Albert’s Jewish heritage and the significance of this living in Vienna.
• Birthrights that Albert feels have been taken from him.
• Albert’s career as a concert pianist and his wondering about where this talent came from.
• Nature vs nurture.

“A different way of thinking” - On parenting Coordination overseas and recently in Australia with Dr Astrid Martalas and Craig Schneider, South Africa. AFCC Series.

“A different way of thinking” - On parenting Coordination overseas and recently in Australia with Dr Astrid Martalas and Craig Schneider, South Africa. AFCC Series.

• What is parenting co-ordination?
• How long does parenting co-ordination last?
• High conflict matters and court resources.
• Powers of the Court not usurped by parenting coordination – judicial authority and parenting coordination?
• Role of parenting coordinator to assist, facilitate and empower the parties.
• Education by the parenting coordinator.
• Transforming the way parents relate to each other so ultimately, hopefully they can resolve their disputes directly.
• Parenting coordination as a logical extension of the mediation process in Australia.
• Parenting coordination is not therapy and is not legal advice, a new profession of the “parenting coordinator.”
• Training and qualifications to become a parenting coordinator.
• Domestic violence and parenting coordinator.
• Including an order in Consent Orders for parenting coordinator.
• Recommendations by the parenting coordinator can be used in Court proceedings.
• South African experience with parenting coordination and the use of PC clauses in consent orders and parenting plans and how it grew and developed organically.
• Research in Canada and America on the reduction of re-ligation.
• History of parenting coordination.
• Hong Kong, Singapore, Spain, UK and Australian training.
• America, Canada and South Africa and the history of parenting co-ordination.
• Australian WA experiences of parenting coordination.
• Will there be resistance to parenting coordination in Australia? Recent judgment regarding several aspects of PC.
• Breaches of orders and contravention applications and how PC may reduce this.

“They count for something” – Darren Mort (Barrister, actor and director, Melbourne) on Child focused separation including the book and film ‘Tommy’. AFCC Series

“They count for something” –  Darren Mort (Barrister, actor and director, Melbourne) on  Child focused separation including the book and film ‘Tommy’. AFCC Series

• Darren’s career history of acting, producing and working as a barrister in family law.
• The story of Tommy – Film and children’s book about Tommy whose parents are separating.
• To Be Loved organisation, creating resources to support parents and children through separation.
• Darren’s personal views about how courts should not be used as a forum to abuse an ex partner and children having a more adequate presence in the court

Tobeloved.org.au

“What are these problems?” Dr Phil Stahl (psychologist and expert witness, Arizona) on the specific issues that complicate post separation parenting. AFCC series.

“What are these problems?” Dr Phil Stahl (psychologist and expert witness, Arizona) on the specific issues that complicate post separation parenting. AFCC series.

• Dr Stahl’s experience and work throughout the United States and the world.
• How the majority of parents can develop problems on their own via Alternative Dispute Resolution.
• 20% or so of families there are problems that make it difficult to resolve disputes.
• Domestic violence and different types of violence: separation instigated violence, situational couple violence, coercive controlling violence. How in coercive controlling violence escalates after separation. Need to differentiate violence the type of violence in a family.
• Technology and stalking.
• Substance abuse – an issue across the world.
• Relocation – creates several complications. Language, culture, distance issues and child development that follow.
• Personality style / mental health of parents: narcissism, psychopathy and other personality issues. High conflict parties. Difficult personalities, for example co-parenting with Donald Trump.
• Parents who hate each other more than they love their children.
• Film “Tommy” by Darren Mort, showing the traumatic affects of conflict and other issues such as substance abuse by parents on a child.
• Firstly acknowledge the work we have been doing in the area.
• Secondly ensure there are enough resources for the Court to be able to make proper assessments.

Parentingafterdivorce.com

“Building strength and resilience between the parents” - Our Family Wizard with Timothy McMichael and Rachael Howitz: use of technology is family law. AFCC series.

 “Building strength and resilience between the parents” -  Our Family Wizard with Timothy McMichael and Rachael Howitz. AFCC series.

• Website and mobile app for co-parents who have separated.
• Messaging functions with tone metre (“spell check “ for your tone), calendar function, parenting schedule, info bank (storing medical information).
• Lawyers and other professionals can also be given access to the parties account.
• Tone metre – developed by a linguistics company. Gives parents a moment to reflect prior to sending a message.
• Calendar function to assist parents – auto populating of time arrangements.
• Communication, school, medical information and time arrangements in one place.
• Messages from children can be uploaded to Our Family Wizard.
• Admissibility of documents uploaded to Our Family Wizard. Nothing can be deleted or created/ tampered with. Mediators can also use access to Our Family Wizard.
• Fees (approx $130 per party) and giving back to the community.
• Security, encryption of data.
• Future of our Family Wizard: Geo-tagging function being developed and moments section to share what parents have been enjoying doing with the children. Building strength and resilience between the parents.

“Winning and losing is not going to be helpful” - Timothy McMichael (Mediator of the Year in New Zealand) on comparing mediation in New Zealand and Australia. AFCC series.

“Winning and losing is not going to be helpful” - Timothy McMichael (Mediator of the Year in New Zealand) on comparing mediation in New Zealand and Australia. AFCC series.

• Both New Zealand and Australia place importance on family law mediation.
• Family mediation works in similar ways in New Zealand and Australia.
• Parties in New Zealand are allowed more hours of mediation than in Australia.
• Several multiple sessions of mediation in New Zealand.
• Issue of delays in Court in New Zealand.
• Recommendations regarding family law reform in New Zealand.
• Child focused and child inclusive mediation in New Zealand.

“Talking to a wall” – Reflections on surrogacy in Australia, following a personal experience with Stephen Page (lawyer, Brisbane). AFCC series.

 “Talking to a wall” – Reflections on how surrogacy in Australia, following a personal experience with Stephen Page (lawyer, Brisbane). AFCC series.

• Stephen Page’s personal journey to have his daughter Elizabeth using surrogacy: “overwhelming joy of generosity” from the surrogate
• Bumps in the road along the surrogacy journey; medicare rebait, changing clinics. Also the surrogate had a miscarriage and later an ectopic pregnancy.
• Issues in the hospital following the birth of Elizabeth.
• Reflections on potential changes to surrogacy in Australia, following his own personal experience.

“Don’t you ever get a spot on your shirt?” Dr Robert Simon (United States Forensic Psychologist) on how all parents make mistakes and understanding each families unique culture. AFCC series.

“Don’t you ever get a spot on your shirt?” Dr Robert Simon (United States Forensic Psychologist) on how all parents make mistakes and understanding each families unique culture specific to them. AFCC series.

• Focus of his talks at the AFCC Conference.
• Dr Simon’s history in family law, around the world and in particular in the United States.
• Understand a families “Culture” and their “culture”. Each family has their own culture unique to them.
• Usually, the greatest risk to children is the conflict in and of itself, not the thing they are having the conflict about: “The problem is not the problem.”
• It is incredibly hard, but rewarding to work through these issues as a parent:
• There is something about the process of conflict that draws you in. Parents are not bad people for having made mistakes: “I made all the mistakes.“
• How to change and learn how to put your children first during separation.
• The need for forgiveness of each other and of yourself.
• Do you ever get a spot on your shirt? Find a therapist who presents as authentic and fully human.